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My Work

My goal as a writer is to not only be able to transform the mind of readers to another lens to visualise the world through but also to hopefully inspire others to strive towards their own goals. My main goal is to become the very best writer and storyteller that I can be. So I hope you enjoy these many works of mine. More will be added throughout my poetic journey.

My Poems:
Click the Poem tile to get taken straight there :)



As I stood on the ashes of stars and looked unto the beautiful clear blue with reflections of gold, I saw nothing with my eyes and noticed the hell below.


Put there by the almighty creator, who truly believes he’s god. But the ashes rose and showed me the true colour of him. Red masked by good. Evil coloured in green. By all those who have witnessed but have never truly seen.


Devilish looks consume the eye. 

And death nourishes the mouth. 

With satan in their hearts, they’re saying 

“We’re here to help”



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You are a Horse.


Horses are calm and collective. Horses are the winners in life. Strong, majestic, and brave. Useful for anything. 


I am a Fool, You are a Horse.


But a horse cannot run without a fool on its back leading its way. Without feeding it wisdom and lessons. A horse without a fool is uneasy, like the tides of the stream. Completed they are natural like the changing of the seasons.


Separate we are completely different and unalike but together, we can rule the world. 


When you’re a winning Horse, am I really such a Fool?



You are a Horse, I am a Fool.


Fools are those who answer questions with questions. Those who see the bright future but choose the dim light. Those who run instead of fly.

I am A Fool. 

Fools are senselessly lucky and have somewhat great knowledge. Fools are charming with stupidity. 


I am a Fool.


A fool for substance and pain. A fool for those who hate. A fool for believing and not achieving. 

I am a Fool.


You are a Horse.

Horses soar. Horses run furlong after furlong without hesitation. Horses see the finish line in their mind but only worry about the new hurdle.

Only Fools & Horses


I've tried to scratch my itch away

Fingers clawed, spelling “Im okay”


It’s a crazy world 

With an insane mind 

Planet full of monsters 

That pretends to be kind


No love lost 

No hate gained 

Forever completing change 

But always remaining the same 


My chest bleeds 

More than a thousand regrets 

Plenty more 

That I really should confess


My bitten nails 

Seem to be so sharp 

Even though I

Can't reach my lost heart 

I'll continue to pulse 

These days in my heart.

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Cause I never stopped seeing ghost

I saw them real and saw them close

In the darkness of my darker room

It was me, they haunt, they chose


In my feelings I'm already dead

Nothing more and nothing less

I was gonna do it but never find the time

Too many thoughts for one man's head


I was never full but always ate

Love has never, seen my hate

Paranoid is more than just a word

Followed me, since I was eight


Now these spirits just won't do the job

I hate sitting, but will never jog

It's all gotten too outta hand

Pity my brain, just won't switch off


Cause these ghost stand in my mind

Paranormal, underlines

Now my friends don't seem all too close

But I pushed them away, and kept the ghosts

Demons haunt my shrill life

Demons on the in and outside

Never leave my poor soul

Always losing, but never fight

Ghost in my room are my only friends

They stick around now and then

But I know these ghosts ain't all mine

Some of these came from the outside


Ghost defines my sweet life

Tortured me till I cry

But my ghost are no more

Cause I just go, to shut the door

So long my ghost

Till the next hall.


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dark days

Dark Days

It was dark today.


These Walls come down hard and I'm stagnant in my position

I’m like a dealer handing out cards, it’s all guilt ridden

I overthink every part, trapped in a psychotic prison 

Staying up early in able to charge, feeding my addictions

But I’d hate to gamble my chance, I’m all terrible with decisions


It was dark today.


My emotions are irriactic 

My mind is numb 

My feelings are frantic 

And I think I know what’s to come...

So I’ll sing and dance with my mind

Like I have never done

But unlike a captivating performance...

Mine lacks all the fun 

It was dark today.


I have seen the darkness in the shadows of my eyes

And They’ve seen to grow in mist

It grows bigger and bigger over time 

That my vision can’t seem to grip...

And I can’t seem to remember 

What happened on my trip…


I’m like a flower in December,

I’m dying without the sunshine!

But I’m so embedded in my roots

Mud is 6 feet deep in my mind...


It was very dark that day….


But these days come and go as they please.

It’s such a chore.


They walk in and out of my life with uncertainties and 

I need to shut that door.


But This door is heavy with everything I have locked away throughout my life,

It’s a shame to me

But unlocking these strong emotions..

Takes an even stronger key 

But I feel the chains going, slowly..but I’m sure

I can feel the locks disappearing

I’m starting to open the door.


And I feel Alive today!


Alive in the possibilities of not knowing

So just like the current of the sea

I’ll keep myself flowing

In these times of uncertainties 

I’ll just keep growing…


Out from that thick mud and up onto the surface..

My petals are my wings 

And the lessons that I am learning

It was once so dark but now I’m turning

Darkness into excellence, it’s a spiritual journey 

In which I am alive! like a lit candle

So I guess I’ll just keep on burning.

I Don't Want to Get Up

Sitting down, I don’t wanna get up.


The washing up is stacking up and it needs to be done, but I don’t wanna get up. 

There is a lot of fluff on the carpet that needs hovering, but I don’t wanna get up

My phone is on 12% and it needs charging, but I don’t wanna get up

My fan fell a bit and needs re-adjusting, but I don’t wanna get up

My bag is open and my gear is falling out and needs sorting, but I don’t wanna get up

My Table is messy and dusty and only needs a quick wipe, but I don’t wanna get up

I am getting fatter by the day whilst eating more by the minute, I need a run but I don’t wanna get up.

Curtains are open at night and now the mosquitoes are getting in, they need to be drawn but I don’t wanna get up.

My soon to be wife is out there waiting in distress for the man of her dreams but I don’t wanna get up

She needs a man who’s willing, ready, and gable but I don’t wanna get up

I need to get up but I don’t wanna get up

I need to live my life but I don’t wanna get up

Mum says I need to have a shower but I don’t wanna get up

Siblings waiting for their big brother to play with them but I don’t wanna get up

Letting people down all the time needs to change but I don’t wanna get up

My emotions driving me up the wall but I don’t get up

I would say I’d go to bed and try again tomorrow but I don’t wanna get up

I would say let’s live another day but I don’t wanna get up

So now I’ll lay dormant in the tub, with the water methodically flowing over me.

And I don’t wanna get up.








Future becoming a mist 

My pistols at the ready 

The present doesn’t relish like a gift 

Alive seems eerily deadly.

I walk the same route 

Day after night,

Afternoon stools 

No longer bring delight.

So away I roam 

In my kingdom of rights 

Unknowing it all 

Mystically in mind 

No need to die,

I just need a break 

Away feeling alright 

In temporary solitude.


Do not fright 

Even though I may die 

Life is more than me 

That is what you need to find 

Work hard and believe 

And do all with your try 

Then you might succeed 

That’s the remedy alibi.


I need my fortress,

As well as my men 

But unlike the fortress 

The men don’t tend 

So adored I’ll be 

In my new kingdom to come 

Thy peasant and queen 

Will be delighted by one. 

I will not forget nor shall I try 

I wish to have you with me 

But we know why we won’t try 

So sorry I am 

For being straight and strict 

But in this life, you’ll find my friends 

The mind is chipped.

And only you, and you alone

Can fill them cracks with blood

So run off away and find the vein

Far away and fix those cracks. 

Not Going Out
autumn fall


As my once ever so shimmering light leaves

My newly found echoed vessel,

It dawns on me that the slaughter has begun. 

My ripe blood floods the mind

The feelings, I’ve unlocked

Are now fixating on me,

Like I’m destined to fulfill their lost innocence.

Walk among the willow and tell me what you see?

Look in my eyes and see what you notice.

Only a few can see the darkness.

People walk along with the willow, and then they walk 

And leave me be

But these walkings happened so much 

That even the guilt has left me.

Gullible for sin,

Utilities running low,

I’d like to pay attention,

Little I do,

Too easy to fall, Too hard to try.

I got hit by the change crippling and fast,

Unlike its subconscious intention.

This weather is killing me real hard

Truly a Leaf-Fall weapon.

But I don’t wish to participate in every part,

I chose my very own way 

Like an eagle caressing the clouds 

I’m always high in life

Floating around wingless with clues

Seeing nothing but these blues 

And green is so far away from my location. 


So as all shall soon pass

So shall I 

I shall take this fragment of thoughts

And transfer it once again.

For my truth is yet to be known 

As my past is still holding me 

Desperation lies hard

For this unforeseen change 

And soon to fall, it shall.



Not Going Out, staying within my house. Wrapped up in my duvet of regrets and on my pillows of truths. It’s surprisingly comfortable in the dark once you understand that the light will never fully return.

My house is a representation of my mind. Family and loved ones are mostly to be seen, but there is a darkness hidden away for no one to witness. Up above is a vast empty space.

Shivering darkness seems to have a different shade to it in my perception. But then maybe it’s the only shade I’ve ever chosen to see. 


Not Staying In. Leaving my vessel for essentials and shopping. Getting fresh air for my soul, it’s truly feeling like it is dropping. Animals in captivity have more room to roam about, So don’t ask me again if I need some space. I need more than space to help me right now, What I could use is a supernova. A supernova of my emotions, thoughts, and pain to spray out of me and into the atmosphere for the rest of the galaxy to witness. I need to feel new in the abyss of nothingness and I am never going to get that if I just stay inside. 









So I’m hanging around with my head in a spin. Like a washing machine with a screw loose inside. Your clothes will be washed but over time you never know when it will blow. Constantly re-engineering something time after time after time again just to keep it at an acceptable standard is quite questionable, as are you really putting the correct use of effort in to be rewarded? Or are you eventually going to get hurt?

Sometimes it’s best to leave a broken machine where it is.


There is no need to scream and shout. No need to play with fear. There is no need to get accustomed to a faulty toy. There is no reason for you to be near. Walk away from me, and then you will see how happy you actually are. For I am not the washing machine you are trying to make work for your home. I am simply the subconscious tick for you to feel better about yourself. “Fix me and watch your dopamine rise” is what freckles from mind to body before you have even taken a breath. But I promise you, I shouldn’t be the focus of your pre-historical written automatic psychology. 



Cemetery Gravestones


Fleeting enjoyment could hardly surprise what a young fellow may believe to be true.


I walk to the graveyard

To be near your essence 

I prayed at the gods 

To be in your life.

We made a dance last for so long,

even after the music stopped playing

I loved your choice of words 

In which you said:

“I love you greatly, and my thoughts are you. Eternity together is what we have in store”

As your eyes lite

Patience exceeds my mind 

As I can’t wait for a fix.


We touched our souls together and alas we were united. But now separate between mud, It can be a little frightening when I no longer hear your choice of words, no longer hear what you discovered, never to hear again your once-in-a-lifetime nemesis, or your once so long-lost love because now we’re forever separated, and I’ve longed lost my love….


And it’s true.


If only you could witness the stars above and smell their fluorescent shine. But now the gravel monsters have swallowed you up, I guess it’s the circle of life. Because round and round I go with intruding thoughts in mind, You’re not what you think because if that’s the truth I have to pay more than a penalty fine. 


Craved in, I’ll always see that. Dated, like a product, and it’s length of use.

Everyone soon forgets,

But, my love, I will always dance with you.

Graveyard Nemesis
Full Moon


Im Awake Again Tonight

Wishing To Sleep Tight

Wondering When Will I 

See That Blissful Light.


I stay Through The Night

Although Sleep I’d Like 

It I May Not Find

As My Bestfriend Is Moonlight.



So I Drank Again Tonight

Forever Even In Spite

I've Longed For A Loving Life

Throughout My Hateful Life.


I Constantly Reignite 

My Ending LifeLine 

Because To Me

You’re The Night Sky 

For Me

It’s You To Who I Write.


So Goodnight, Goodnight

Let All Those Who Fail, Rise

Stand Up Against Your Demise

Be Your Own Sacrifice 

As Here, I Lay 

With My Dim Bright Light 

Praying I Just Sleep Tight

no us

No Us

Flew too high like a seagull out of the norm,
We played our part in our nature
So why didn't we expect a storm?
So we reigned long and hard with our love
But our weathered soldiers down below
Had just fought too much.

So the Kingdom fell,
Long live the King
Spiraled by our own spell
That we knew would happen.
The Queen will march
No longer more
As the people chant
And laugh at the downfall

We put all our chips down on the table
The dealer gave us our cards
And therefore was our new label
Which quickly got stuck on hard
Then began our new fable
As said, we played the part
Which went quickly unstable
When we both dropped the cards.

I wanted us to be parallel but we were so perpendicular in our time
Reasons for our down spell was due to the silly conformations all in our mind
We rushed, we sored, we played, we wore
Down it went and so did us
So for valentines this year darling
There will be no flowers, there will be no cards, there will be no grand display,

as there will be no us.


Don't Cry Flamingo 

Don't Cry Flamingo, You Can Keep Going.
You've fought so hard already
Don't Cry Flamingo, You Can Keep Going.
But just when you're ready.
You've got this, Flamingo you are going!
Running in the wind.
Just keep going Flamingo, you are but a child!
You've got so much time to win!

So wake up Flamingo
Its time to change the world Ands it's ours for the taking
I love my life, family and friends
And the memories that I will soon be making!
Soon we'll have a massive garden, with animals playing
But for now its only flamingos i'll be taking


The Poets Confession

Pleaded not guilty by virtue of demonic possession,

Paranormal ghosts set the scene.

Kept the private affair close in her humble confession 

Considering they were so plene

Not guilty by way of possession 

It’s a one-horse town interior 

Church bells tolled in season 

In view of myself,  was inferior 

Pityful cries deliver pitiful nights 

Sending the ghost insane

Screeching the wise and playing the blind 

They lead the known to plane.

Not guilty by way of possession 

I saw the crime itself 

Not guilty by possession 

The puppet of angels and elfs

Poets confessions

for you i will bleed
till i'm shaking at the knees
to save you all
from this worlds terrible greed
whenever you're in need
just simply remember me
these words you can always read
whenever lifes too mean

what i would pay
to keep the time today
to have you never grow
and never grow to know true pain
but life remains :(
and you will grow in time
so the present is my gift
that i will hold to tonight


The precious gems
a universal gleam
an unconditional shine
that thankfully lights me
take care, take care
for this world too rough
it ain't fair, ain't fair
no one is actually that tough
for weakness we all share
as fear never leaves
but strength is power
and you power me

so let's pick the flowers
and find the birds
let's just play for forever
and hope to never get hurt
for the answers we all need
i'll try and learn
my new epiphany
my lifes current turn
i hope for the best
but i'll pray to avoid the worst
as i see that them clouds lurk

thanks for being my loves
my lovely flamingo heard


for you

For You

A Poem for my future child

Generate wisdom
Spread love
Feel stories
Feed the trees
Manage precision
Within your touch
Peel back stories
Help the needs.
Explore the unknown
Reach for the sky
Ponder down below
Never stop asking.
Listen with clarity
Dissect the intent
Honor the people
Who helped you defend
Discover your full potential
As most never did
Be more than you are
Explore yourself
Be more than you are
Be the God that's within

poem form
we all

We All

We all just want to be loved.

Cherished and adored. 

We all just want to be happy.

Content and reassured.

We all just want money.

The Devils's green.

We all just want.

But never ask, what we need?



Potions of envy 

Corse round my blood 

When I see the love you gave to her.


I’ll pick the thorns until you come back,

Just to keep me reminded of you.

So don’t bother bringing the roses 

You know I’ll just see straight through.


Unlike grass, you didn’t grow 

Instead stagnated in spite of the sun 

That never came for you.


So for me, forgive you

And forget all of your silly mistakes 

Move on! move for me. 


Move on and run

Runaway from who you are destined to be.

Loving My Ends

Loving My Ends!

My homely ends were filled with roaming friends. 

Running around the fields, playing games, hoping it would never end.


All so different but all still beautifully blend.

Multicultural Streatham Vale. My once home. My so-called Ends. 


Ice creams with sprinkles,

Footballs with stars.

Playgrounds with make-believe games 

So mind out for the floor as it’s filled with sharks.

Lava with monsters that were vividly true

So catch me and I’ll make sure to catch you too.


Sleepovers with take-aways. 

Endlessly communal was just the community ways. 

Sticking together against the terror that’s out there on a day to day.

Dodgy Tracks and railways. 

Big bridges and sunny days.

Rookery cafes and public pools. 

Football on a Friday with the teacher from school.

Abandoned builds and furious dogs.

Walking down the street is dangerous. 

If you’re going to school, don’t get lost.

As some people are just born to endanger us.


Muddy shoes are just a sign of the times, Breaking rules until the moonrise. 

Telling truths but also spreading lies. We were all once kids.


Starting riots and kicking-off fights. Living within the neighborhood blights.

Home brand crisp with B-Tech sprite. It’s just how we grew up. 


The last summer when we all hung out, for the very last time. 

Is a memory I will truly treasure, until the day we all fly. 

Hoping one day, we can turn back time 

Catch up, reconvene, for just one last night. 

dream a



Nothing's the same without you.

And I'm feeling too much pain when I'm blue. 

Nocturnal when I sleep without you.

Nothing's the same without you.

Yesterday, yesterday, yesterday was for you.


More of the same old pain.

And I'm getting tired of our age.

Umbrellas stand in the sunny rain.

Remembering to get dry leads me insane.

Even with the winds and grain.

Eventually, we all feel the same.

Nothing's more important than your name....




Circus of life, what can I say. 

Healed so many people, now you're drained.

Acceptance and affection is the way.

People often like to look, the other way.

Promises were made but now break.

Equalizing my financial state.

Loving us was always your main.

Long live your legacy and your name.

What may lie

Shall I carry on participating within these fleeting moments of bliss,
With a calmness in the eyes?
Of shall I ride the dragon to the deepest of dark woods,
To see what treasures I may find

Shall I just keep calm in the spite of envy in what I don't possess,
Or dare I try believe, then strive to reach what may lay in my very best?

The journey is often referred to as the greatest part, But is that because you arrived at the wrong stop?
Maybe you misconceived goals in the eyes of others. And never got what you really want.

Why not take a look
Brave the fire and shame
Pitiful life to leave
If it always to remain the same

What May Lay

To Wake

When you wake to see the dawn,

You begin to sleep no more

When the night is all you see,

Do these stars shine for me?

Betelgeuse flickers,

But does it blink to me?

Footprints on the moon,

But will it be my feet?

Goodnight to the stars and hello to the blue,

But I'm not afraid of the day no more,

Because I've woken up with you


to wake
12, 20

12, 20

The Book Of The Law Stays Swayed On The Shelf,

Next to the carcass in the cage.

Man Down, Man Down & Tarot.


A man who's down is constantly afraid of what could happen to him.

I sleep with a fan, permanent tan, structure plans and pretend to be a man. 

So What If? 

What if you did this or did that, have a piss up or had a chat, Play to the front, or sing to the back, we all are followers of the mother goddess.


Legends fell by my touch,

Left them there in the dust, in the rough, right in front, dead, they lay, waiting for me.


Come and get your love now, let us see the show. 

A factory of stories and remembrance,

A bed of hidden truths. 


A woe-filled whisk walks along the side with colourful hands. Repeating their existence to all. 


Blood-soaked walls and dodgy locks. The buzzer works to the bell, but the buzzer can’t unlock. Tepid steps, down I go. Weary of the abut down below. Harrowed halls and weathered bricks, the rain trickles down with the foxes in the garden. 

Flowers in summer. Birds all the time. 

The perfect soundtrack for reparations in a lost soul.

In and out. They come and go. Becometh what I dreaded many moons ago. 


The city of chance & anticipation. Rectifying lost civilizations that they fought so hard to erase that when it’s coming back around you smell them all still acting so bloody shameless.


Chicken shops and pizza bargains. The girls have to hide their faces at attendance. 

Savages that saunter the street stalk the scared to shame. Beautiful children belittled by cowardness become continuous complaints. Children play in the park till dusk to eliminate the nightly same. Parent’s complacent attachments become the foundation of the crime scene to the wrongly insane. Loving detachments drive the boys to plight. Judges see no pity to them. Boys playing make-believe inside where they get just encoded to just repeat again.


So here’s a hand, it’ll take a few months. Just wait around, sleep on the street but don’t sleep rough. Wishing for the candles and lamps to come you’re reading your make-believe stories to numb the pain inside. 


Pulling skin and picking hairs. Messy covers and stained carpets. Holes within the walls and damp on the ceiling. Knitted blankets full of crumps, enchant peanut-infused melodies. 

Lights scattered through the dark with the icons still at bay. Unread books collect my thought depriving particles. 


Flat 12. House 20. Where I sleep. Flat of hell, halls are plenty. Where I weap. So sleep tonight in the uncomforting sheets as they absorb you a little more.

Winter Poems

Wall Of Truth

The Begrudging wall of truth fell hard on me

With leaf-less branches and a single rain.

Clouds opened up to show me the sky,

Followed by a glazy sunshine sane.

So to the gates 'll run

I'll see you in my stride,

Mixing up the fabric of my life

For nothing more than self-fabricated pride.


Less dwell on why you ran

and more on your arrival

Where your feet and palms 

met the sand,

and you surprised,

by the survival.

In all these graces of doors

You could see

You'll hear a different


Learn to learn as

Wisdom always prevails over 

internal defeat

Roller Coaster

I tend to mention gleaming, yet I've never felt it.

Even with these roller coaster of emotions driving me,

They've never dealt it.

Why always the dark?

Why is it always tears?

Why never show me love?

But only all the fears.

As I continue on my helter skelter ride,

I'll bring along the tissues.

Because with all this sadness in my eyes,

The water only leads to misuse.


In time, we all begin to die.

Between our sunrise and night sky,

Is what we call life.

And what is life?

To live is to learn,

And to learn is to grow.

And to grow is to heal beyond your previous endeavours

But my current state is neither.

Like a dried out flower petal, 

My life is at a stop.

Between the boy I used to be and the man I want.

Forever in between

Left in the search

Now shall I dare to grow?

Or forever see the roof of dirt.


Like a branch getting swayed in a hurricane,

My direction is yet unknown.

Though my leafs are sprouting strong,

I am yet fully spiritually grown.

My roots are damaged with what they 

grew upon, so on a tilt I shall stand,

Away with the wind, but not flowing

Uncentered, a lost fog

Is this truly the arc of man?

So off I blow, on this same thorn again

Uneasy with the natural breeze.

As I leave my mind once again

I finally realised, it's my mind losing me.

(End of "Winter Poems" collection)

inter Poems
Full Moon

Full Moon

Cold Moon, Full Moon, Won't you come?

A bright noon, I'll see not soon, as I've lost all my fun.

Wisphers torment my inner kind,

Shaking the core within,

But within these wisphers a rumble loud

but only ever heard paper thin.

The walls don't cave to such bitter ting's

Built by the damaged and stagnant

Left to freeze my conditioning 

Leaving me feeling breathless and abandoned.

To them I place blame,

But the burden relieved I found me not. 

Pity the days that remain the same and the rowls we all forgot.

So is a goodbye in order?

Or dare you laugh once again?

Such a waste of me trying,

because you'll always remain the same.

A penultimate haze

A penultimate haze

I found myself dazed

Unsteady but yet I knew 

Of it all before you broke the news.


Unsteady, a loss, my stomach ready to spew 

I once again found myself dazed and finally acknowledged that this is truly the end. 


The boys we knew

Grew into us men 

But you unfortunately stopped growing at one point 

Whilst I sprouted leaving you alone in the mud.


I saw the signs,

Your hands on her thighs 

In the simmit of my eyes 

And yet I refused to see it.


My once dear friend 

Forever lost again 

I forever hope you can mend

Your broken mind and blinded heart.


A goodbye is coming

I shall see you there 

Our last hooray

Goodbye my lovely beautiful friend 




I'm still feeling like an abstract being

A star-light alignment 

I’m never seeing


What’s this life to bring?

Nothing but suffering 

I’m really trying to be optimistic 

But this seems to be all that I am seeing.


A crescent moon 

With no planets with it 

A space shuttle with no man in it

What’s actually vast if the universe is never thinning

And what's stability when on this rock we’re always spinning.


What’s a rhyme if there’s no rhyme with it

What’s a mind if there’s no mind picking

What’s a man if there just no man left within him

And what’s a plan if there is no plan beginning?


What's a fact when we’re always growing

What’s true judgment when no ones knowing 

What’s going on and they always show it

And what’s a family if someone's always coming and going?


The answer to this, 

Is what you’ll find in never trying,

and if you think you can’t be a little kinder to yourself and those around you,

Well then bruv ,

you’re just lying. 


Losing myself by staying with you.

Purple steps 

Concrete steps 

I see the full moon 

It sends me a sight that I only live for them.


I push myself in front of the train on the track

Simultaneously pulling myself back 

But yet I can't say it’s reciprocated. 


I go hungry so you can eat

I stay in, too make you not shout

I wear your favorite outfits of mine, whilst you wear whatever you like.


I stayed in bed when I had to leave 

Just for you, tenderly 

And it's in your mirror I see 

No more of my identity. 


But I couldn't find the courage to believe it, so I kept it down hoping not to retrieve it.


I buried it deep and along I went with “ my individuality will eventually return” ringing in my head.


I played this role for seasons at a time, with you making clear what is and isn’t my outline. 

Wherever you went, I pursued 

All in the name of love, loving you.


Then one day it all went wrong 

You opened your soul and I saw it clearly conned me into thinking I was to blame for our stop.. 

But you were only ever in control suited you. 

We once held hands like a piano and trumpet meet in a tune

But you’ve treated me like a drum for too long 

That now our symphony is through. 



Smelling the world at my footstep 

I feel the power of flavor.


A distant smell takes me back to school days, 

The classical nostalgia which always leaves me reflecting on my journey thus far.


A once shy intimated boy who saw no other life for himself has shattered that self-constructed cocoon to realise there is more to life than these walls.


There is really more to life than my walls, huh..


Well maybe then there’s more to this life than I once thought 

Maybe there’s more to my own ego-centric rhythm and institutional rules

And maybe if I just try to walk down another path for once and adjust my swindle attitudes then I’ll find that I am capable of some positive reform.

It’s Like I’ve always chosen stripes and it’s actually spots for me,

I’ve always been adamant my colour was green but maybe it’s pink for me. 

I’ve always looked down and now it’s only stars I see,

And maybe it was never meant to stay christian but rather destined to be C. C.


From endless pitchers in cheam to water in waterloo, from rustlers burgers every other night to now having some healthy colorful gut healthy food. 

From me being once so broken and shy you wouldn’t tell I was in a room to being center-stage delivering content pure and new. 


I still hold dearly that past me,

But looking back will never pull you forward.

I’m trying to shake these final elements of my cocoon,

My last petals of comfort

This starts not with a dive in the deep end of the pool 

But more-so by simply having just water in Waterloo. 

Squirrel On A Fence

Oh little delicacy 

Wandering free

How much I would pay 

To be you in this exact heartbeat. 


Walking steadily,

On wooden tracks 

You search, you sniff 

Then you pitta-patta back.


Oh wondrous beast

How does one earn to be 

You in this tranquil moment.


I could sniff and search eloquently 

Whilst in the mist of natures dream

Whilst you experience being me,


I could hunt for acorns whilst you could attempt to try to make me financially free.

For a moment we could switch 

Between living our frequencies pitch

We could explore each other's day to day issues

Filling one another's existential itch. 


You would attempt to dissecting my emotional feels

That certainly undivine meal

The hurdles that this universe places

Plus how to make me successful too,

Whilst I search for nuts worrying about nothing else. 


This will repeat until we meet again,

Till the unplanned reconvenes 

But as I write this it dawns on deep

That maybe I was always just a Squirrel on a fence until I looked up and saw me.


Then through a rodent soul I prayed to be anything but silly ol’ squirrel me.


Oh big beast 

What to be


Restricted, disciplined and he

From this wandering life I would flee

To feel love, hate, lust, jealously

Is merely a dream to us cavies.


So wish for me not,

Flourish in a chaotic bliss

As it’s finer to experience, harness all these unwanted feelings

Than to just be a little rodent 

Wandering free.

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