My Work
My goal as a writer is to not only be able to transform the mind of readers to another lens to visualise the world through but also to hopefully inspire others to strive towards their own goals. My main goal is to become the very best writer and storyteller that I can be. So I hope you enjoy these many works of mine. More will be added throughout my poetic journey.
My Poems:
Click the Poem tile to get taken straight there :)
Ashes
As I stood on the ashes of stars and looked unto the beautiful clear blue with reflections of gold, I saw nothing with my eyes and noticed the hell below.
Put there by the almighty creator, who truly believes he’s god. But the ashes rose and showed me the true colour of him. Red masked by good. Evil coloured in green. By all those who have witnessed but have never truly seen.
Devilish looks consume the eye.
And death nourishes the mouth.
With satan in their hearts, they’re saying
“We’re here to help”
Only FOOLS & hORSES
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You are a Horse.
Horses are calm and collective. Horses are the winners in life. Strong, majestic, and brave. Useful for anything.
I am a Fool, You are a Horse.
But a horse cannot run without a fool on its back leading its way. Without feeding it wisdom and lessons. A horse without a fool is uneasy, like the tides of the stream. Completed they are natural like the changing of the seasons.
Separate we are completely different and unalike but together, we can rule the world.
When you’re a winning Horse, am I really such a Fool?
(L.T.M)
You are a Horse, I am a Fool.
Fools are those who answer questions with questions. Those who see the bright future but choose the dim light. Those who run instead of fly.
I am A Fool.
Fools are senselessly lucky and have somewhat great knowledge. Fools are charming with stupidity.
I am a Fool.
A fool for substance and pain. A fool for those who hate. A fool for believing and not achieving.
I am a Fool.
You are a Horse.
​
Horses soar. Horses run furlong after furlong without hesitation. Horses see the finish line in their mind but only worry about the new hurdle.
​
Scratch
I've tried to scratch my itch away
Fingers clawed, spelling “Im okay”
It’s a crazy world
With an insane mind
Planet full of monsters
That pretends to be kind
No love lost
No hate gained
Forever completing change
But always remaining the same
My chest bleeds
More than a thousand regrets
Plenty more
That I really should confess
My bitten nails
Seem to be so sharp
Even though I
Can't reach my lost heart
I'll continue to pulse
These days in my heart.
​
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Cause I never stopped seeing ghost
I saw them real and saw them close
In the darkness of my darker room
It was me, they haunt, they chose
In my feelings I'm already dead
Nothing more and nothing less
I was gonna do it but never find the time
Too many thoughts for one man's head
I was never full but always ate
Love has never, seen my hate
Paranoid is more than just a word
Followed me, since I was eight
​
Now these spirits just won't do the job
I hate sitting, but will never jog
It's all gotten too outta hand
Pity my brain, just won't switch off
Cause these ghost stand in my mind
Paranormal, underlines
Now my friends don't seem all too close
But I pushed them away, and kept the ghosts
​
Demons haunt my shrill life
Demons on the in and outside
Never leave my poor soul
Always losing, but never fight
​
Ghost in my room are my only friends
They stick around now and then
But I know these ghosts ain't all mine
Some of these came from the outside
Ghost defines my sweet life
Tortured me till I cry
But my ghost are no more
Cause I just go, to shut the door
So long my ghost
Till the next hall.
Ghost
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Dark Days
It was dark today.
These Walls come down hard and I'm stagnant in my position
I’m like a dealer handing out cards, it’s all guilt ridden
I overthink every part, trapped in a psychotic prison
Staying up early in able to charge, feeding my addictions
But I’d hate to gamble my chance, I’m all terrible with decisions
It was dark today.
My emotions are irriactic
My mind is numb
My feelings are frantic
And I think I know what’s to come...
So I’ll sing and dance with my mind
Like I have never done
But unlike a captivating performance...
Mine lacks all the fun
​
It was dark today.
I have seen the darkness in the shadows of my eyes
And They’ve seen to grow in mist
It grows bigger and bigger over time
That my vision can’t seem to grip...
And I can’t seem to remember
What happened on my trip…
I’m like a flower in December,
I’m dying without the sunshine!
But I’m so embedded in my roots
Mud is 6 feet deep in my mind...
It was very dark that day….
But these days come and go as they please.
It’s such a chore.
They walk in and out of my life with uncertainties and
I need to shut that door.
​
But This door is heavy with everything I have locked away throughout my life,
It’s a shame to me
But unlocking these strong emotions..
Takes an even stronger key
But I feel the chains going, slowly..but I’m sure
I can feel the locks disappearing
I’m starting to open the door.
And I feel Alive today!
Alive in the possibilities of not knowing
So just like the current of the sea
I’ll keep myself flowing
In these times of uncertainties
I’ll just keep growing…
Out from that thick mud and up onto the surface..
My petals are my wings
And the lessons that I am learning
It was once so dark but now I’m turning
Darkness into excellence, it’s a spiritual journey
In which I am alive! like a lit candle
So I guess I’ll just keep on burning.
I Don't Want to Get Up
Sitting down, I don’t wanna get up.
The washing up is stacking up and it needs to be done, but I don’t wanna get up.
There is a lot of fluff on the carpet that needs hovering, but I don’t wanna get up
My phone is on 12% and it needs charging, but I don’t wanna get up
My fan fell a bit and needs re-adjusting, but I don’t wanna get up
My bag is open and my gear is falling out and needs sorting, but I don’t wanna get up
My Table is messy and dusty and only needs a quick wipe, but I don’t wanna get up
I am getting fatter by the day whilst eating more by the minute, I need a run but I don’t wanna get up.
Curtains are open at night and now the mosquitoes are getting in, they need to be drawn but I don’t wanna get up.
My soon to be wife is out there waiting in distress for the man of her dreams but I don’t wanna get up
She needs a man who’s willing, ready, and gable but I don’t wanna get up
I need to get up but I don’t wanna get up
I need to live my life but I don’t wanna get up
Mum says I need to have a shower but I don’t wanna get up
Siblings waiting for their big brother to play with them but I don’t wanna get up
Letting people down all the time needs to change but I don’t wanna get up
My emotions driving me up the wall but I don’t get up
I would say I’d go to bed and try again tomorrow but I don’t wanna get up
I would say let’s live another day but I don’t wanna get up
So now I’ll lay dormant in the tub, with the water methodically flowing over me.
And I don’t wanna get up.
C
R
A
C
K
S
Future becoming a mist
My pistols at the ready
The present doesn’t relish like a gift
Alive seems eerily deadly.
I walk the same route
Day after night,
Afternoon stools
No longer bring delight.
So away I roam
In my kingdom of rights
Unknowing it all
Mystically in mind
No need to die,
I just need a break
Away feeling alright
In temporary solitude.
Do not fright
Even though I may die
Life is more than me
That is what you need to find
Work hard and believe
And do all with your try
Then you might succeed
That’s the remedy alibi.
I need my fortress,
As well as my men
But unlike the fortress
The men don’t tend
So adored I’ll be
In my new kingdom to come
Thy peasant and queen
Will be delighted by one.
I will not forget nor shall I try
I wish to have you with me
But we know why we won’t try
So sorry I am
For being straight and strict
But in this life, you’ll find my friends
The mind is chipped.
And only you, and you alone
Can fill them cracks with blood
So run off away and find the vein
Far away and fix those cracks.
aUTUMN FALLS
As my once ever so shimmering light leaves
My newly found echoed vessel,
It dawns on me that the slaughter has begun.
My ripe blood floods the mind
The feelings, I’ve unlocked
Are now fixating on me,
Like I’m destined to fulfill their lost innocence.
​
Walk among the willow and tell me what you see?
Look in my eyes and see what you notice.
Only a few can see the darkness.
People walk along with the willow, and then they walk
And leave me be
But these walkings happened so much
That even the guilt has left me.
Gullible for sin,
Utilities running low,
I’d like to pay attention,
Little I do,
Too easy to fall, Too hard to try.
​
I got hit by the change crippling and fast,
Unlike its subconscious intention.
This weather is killing me real hard
Truly a Leaf-Fall weapon.
​
​
But I don’t wish to participate in every part,
I chose my very own way
Like an eagle caressing the clouds
I’m always high in life
Floating around wingless with clues
Seeing nothing but these blues
And green is so far away from my location.
So as all shall soon pass
So shall I
I shall take this fragment of thoughts
And transfer it once again.
For my truth is yet to be known
As my past is still holding me
Desperation lies hard
For this unforeseen change
And soon to fall, it shall.
n
o
Not Going Out, staying within my house. Wrapped up in my duvet of regrets and on my pillows of truths. It’s surprisingly comfortable in the dark once you understand that the light will never fully return.
My house is a representation of my mind. Family and loved ones are mostly to be seen, but there is a darkness hidden away for no one to witness. Up above is a vast empty space.
Shivering darkness seems to have a different shade to it in my perception. But then maybe it’s the only shade I’ve ever chosen to see.
Not Staying In. Leaving my vessel for essentials and shopping. Getting fresh air for my soul, it’s truly feeling like it is dropping. Animals in captivity have more room to roam about, So don’t ask me again if I need some space. I need more than space to help me right now, What I could use is a supernova. A supernova of my emotions, thoughts, and pain to spray out of me and into the atmosphere for the rest of the galaxy to witness. I need to feel new in the abyss of nothingness and I am never going to get that if I just stay inside.
​
t
g
o
i
n
g
o
So I’m hanging around with my head in a spin. Like a washing machine with a screw loose inside. Your clothes will be washed but over time you never know when it will blow. Constantly re-engineering something time after time after time again just to keep it at an acceptable standard is quite questionable, as are you really putting the correct use of effort in to be rewarded? Or are you eventually going to get hurt?
Sometimes it’s best to leave a broken machine where it is.
There is no need to scream and shout. No need to play with fear. There is no need to get accustomed to a faulty toy. There is no reason for you to be near. Walk away from me, and then you will see how happy you actually are. For I am not the washing machine you are trying to make work for your home. I am simply the subconscious tick for you to feel better about yourself. “Fix me and watch your dopamine rise” is what freckles from mind to body before you have even taken a breath. But I promise you, I shouldn’t be the focus of your pre-historical written automatic psychology.
u
t
Graveyard-Nemesis
Fleeting enjoyment could hardly surprise what a young fellow may believe to be true.
I walk to the graveyard
To be near your essence
I prayed at the gods
To be in your life.
We made a dance last for so long,
even after the music stopped playing
I loved your choice of words
In which you said:
“I love you greatly, and my thoughts are you. Eternity together is what we have in store”
As your eyes lite
Patience exceeds my mind
As I can’t wait for a fix.
We touched our souls together and alas we were united. But now separate between mud, It can be a little frightening when I no longer hear your choice of words, no longer hear what you discovered, never to hear again your once-in-a-lifetime nemesis, or your once so long-lost love because now we’re forever separated, and I’ve longed lost my love….
And it’s true.
If only you could witness the stars above and smell their fluorescent shine. But now the gravel monsters have swallowed you up, I guess it’s the circle of life. Because round and round I go with intruding thoughts in mind, You’re not what you think because if that’s the truth I have to pay more than a penalty fine.
Craved in, I’ll always see that. Dated, like a product, and it’s length of use.
Everyone soon forgets,
But, my love, I will always dance with you.
Moonshines
Acquaintance
Im Awake Again Tonight
Wishing To Sleep Tight
Wondering When Will I
See That Blissful Light.
​
​
I stay Through The Night
Although Sleep I’d Like
It I May Not Find
As My Bestfriend Is Moonlight.
​
So I Drank Again Tonight
Forever Even In Spite
I've Longed For A Loving Life
Throughout My Hateful Life.
​
I Constantly Reignite
My Ending LifeLine
Because To Me
You’re The Night Sky
For Me
It’s You To Who I Write.
​
So Goodnight, Goodnight
Let All Those Who Fail, Rise
Stand Up Against Your Demise
Be Your Own Sacrifice
As Here, I Lay
With My Dim Bright Light
Praying I Just Sleep Tight
No Us
Flew too high like a seagull out of the norm,
We played our part in our nature
So why didn't we expect a storm?
So we reigned long and hard with our love
But our weathered soldiers down below
Had just fought too much.
So the Kingdom fell,
Long live the King
Spiraled by our own spell
That we knew would happen.
The Queen will march
No longer more
As the people chant
And laugh at the downfall
We put all our chips down on the table
The dealer gave us our cards
And therefore was our new label
Which quickly got stuck on hard
Then began our new fable
As said, we played the part
Which went quickly unstable
When we both dropped the cards.
I wanted us to be parallel but we were so perpendicular in our time
Reasons for our down spell was due to the silly conformations all in our mind
We rushed, we sored, we played, we wore
Down it went and so did us
So for valentines this year darling
There will be no flowers, there will be no cards, there will be no grand display,
as there will be no us.
Don't Cry Flamingo
Don't Cry Flamingo, You Can Keep Going.
You've fought so hard already
Don't Cry Flamingo, You Can Keep Going.
But just when you're ready.
You've got this, Flamingo you are going!
Running in the wind.
Just keep going Flamingo, you are but a child!
You've got so much time to win!
So wake up Flamingo
Its time to change the world Ands it's ours for the taking
I love my life, family and friends
And the memories that I will soon be making!
Soon we'll have a massive garden, with animals playing
But for now its only flamingos i'll be taking
The Poets Confession
Pleaded not guilty by virtue of demonic possession,
Paranormal ghosts set the scene.
Kept the private affair close in her humble confession
Considering they were so plene
​
​
Not guilty by way of possession
It’s a one-horse town interior
Church bells tolled in season
In view of myself, was inferior
Pityful cries deliver pitiful nights
Sending the ghost insane
Screeching the wise and playing the blind
They lead the known to plane.
​
​
Not guilty by way of possession
I saw the crime itself
Not guilty by possession
The puppet of angels and elfs
for you i will bleed
till i'm shaking at the knees
to save you all
from this worlds terrible greed
whenever you're in need
just simply remember me
these words you can always read
whenever lifes too mean
what i would pay
to keep the time today
to have you never grow
and never grow to know true pain
but life remains :(
and you will grow in time
so the present is my gift
that i will hold to tonight
The precious gems
a universal gleam
an unconditional shine
that thankfully lights me
take care, take care
for this world too rough
it ain't fair, ain't fair
no one is actually that tough
for weakness we all share
as fear never leaves
but strength is power
and you power me
so let's pick the flowers
and find the birds
let's just play for forever
and hope to never get hurt
for the answers we all need
i'll try and learn
my new epiphany
my lifes current turn
i hope for the best
but i'll pray to avoid the worst
as i see that them clouds lurk
thanks for being my loves
my lovely flamingo heard
X
for you
A Poem for my future child
Generate wisdom
Spread love
Feel stories
Feed the trees
Manage precision
Within your touch
Peel back stories
Help the needs.
Explore the unknown
Reach for the sky
Ponder down below
Never stop asking.
Listen with clarity
Dissect the intent
Honor the people
Who helped you defend
Discover your full potential
As most never did
Be more than you are
Explore yourself
Be more than you are
Be the God that's within
We All
We all just want to be loved.
Cherished and adored.
​
We all just want to be happy.
Content and reassured.
​
We all just want money.
The Devils's green.
We all just want.
But never ask, what we need?
Mater
Potions of envy
Corse round my blood
When I see the love you gave to her.
I’ll pick the thorns until you come back,
Just to keep me reminded of you.
So don’t bother bringing the roses
You know I’ll just see straight through.
Unlike grass, you didn’t grow
Instead stagnated in spite of the sun
That never came for you.
So for me, forgive you
And forget all of your silly mistakes
Move on! move for me.
Move on and run
Runaway from who you are destined to be.
Loving My Ends!
My homely ends were filled with roaming friends.
Running around the fields, playing games, hoping it would never end.
All so different but all still beautifully blend.
Multicultural Streatham Vale. My once home. My so-called Ends.
Ice creams with sprinkles,
Footballs with stars.
Playgrounds with make-believe games
So mind out for the floor as it’s filled with sharks.
Lava with monsters that were vividly true
So catch me and I’ll make sure to catch you too.
Sleepovers with take-aways.
Endlessly communal was just the community ways.
Sticking together against the terror that’s out there on a day to day.
Dodgy Tracks and railways.
Big bridges and sunny days.
Rookery cafes and public pools.
Football on a Friday with the teacher from school.
Abandoned builds and furious dogs.
Walking down the street is dangerous.
If you’re going to school, don’t get lost.
As some people are just born to endanger us.
Muddy shoes are just a sign of the times, Breaking rules until the moonrise.
Telling truths but also spreading lies. We were all once kids.
Starting riots and kicking-off fights. Living within the neighborhood blights.
Home brand crisp with B-Tech sprite. It’s just how we grew up.
The last summer when we all hung out, for the very last time.
Is a memory I will truly treasure, until the day we all fly.
Hoping one day, we can turn back time
Catch up, reconvene, for just one last night.
NAN
Nothing's the same without you.
And I'm feeling too much pain when I'm blue.
Nocturnal when I sleep without you.
Nothing's the same without you.
Yesterday, yesterday, yesterday was for you.
More of the same old pain.
And I'm getting tired of our age.
Umbrellas stand in the sunny rain.
Remembering to get dry leads me insane.
Even with the winds and grain.
Eventually, we all feel the same.
Nothing's more important than your name....
Because.
Circus of life, what can I say.
Healed so many people, now you're drained.
Acceptance and affection is the way.
People often like to look, the other way.
Promises were made but now break.
Equalizing my financial state.
Loving us was always your main.
Long live your legacy and your name.
What may lie
Shall I carry on participating within these fleeting moments of bliss,
With a calmness in the eyes?
Of shall I ride the dragon to the deepest of dark woods,
To see what treasures I may find
Shall I just keep calm in the spite of envy in what I don't possess,
Or dare I try believe, then strive to reach what may lay in my very best?
The journey is often referred to as the greatest part, But is that because you arrived at the wrong stop?
Maybe you misconceived goals in the eyes of others. And never got what you really want.
Why not take a look
Brave the fire and shame
Pitiful life to leave
If it always to remain the same
To Wake
When you wake to see the dawn,
You begin to sleep no more
When the night is all you see,
Do these stars shine for me?
​
Betelgeuse flickers,
But does it blink to me?
Footprints on the moon,
But will it be my feet?
Goodnight to the stars and hello to the blue,
But I'm not afraid of the day no more,
Because I've woken up with you
x
12, 20
The Book Of The Law Stays Swayed On The Shelf,
Next to the carcass in the cage.
Man Down, Man Down & Tarot.
A man who's down is constantly afraid of what could happen to him.
I sleep with a fan, permanent tan, structure plans and pretend to be a man.
So What If?
What if you did this or did that, have a piss up or had a chat, Play to the front, or sing to the back, we all are followers of the mother goddess.
Legends fell by my touch,
Left them there in the dust, in the rough, right in front, dead, they lay, waiting for me.
Come and get your love now, let us see the show.
A factory of stories and remembrance,
A bed of hidden truths.
A woe-filled whisk walks along the side with colourful hands. Repeating their existence to all.
Blood-soaked walls and dodgy locks. The buzzer works to the bell, but the buzzer can’t unlock. Tepid steps, down I go. Weary of the abut down below. Harrowed halls and weathered bricks, the rain trickles down with the foxes in the garden.
Flowers in summer. Birds all the time.
The perfect soundtrack for reparations in a lost soul.
​
In and out. They come and go. Becometh what I dreaded many moons ago.
The city of chance & anticipation. Rectifying lost civilizations that they fought so hard to erase that when it’s coming back around you smell them all still acting so bloody shameless.
Chicken shops and pizza bargains. The girls have to hide their faces at attendance.
Savages that saunter the street stalk the scared to shame. Beautiful children belittled by cowardness become continuous complaints. Children play in the park till dusk to eliminate the nightly same. Parent’s complacent attachments become the foundation of the crime scene to the wrongly insane. Loving detachments drive the boys to plight. Judges see no pity to them. Boys playing make-believe inside where they get just encoded to just repeat again.
So here’s a hand, it’ll take a few months. Just wait around, sleep on the street but don’t sleep rough. Wishing for the candles and lamps to come you’re reading your make-believe stories to numb the pain inside.
Pulling skin and picking hairs. Messy covers and stained carpets. Holes within the walls and damp on the ceiling. Knitted blankets full of crumps, enchant peanut-infused melodies.
Lights scattered through the dark with the icons still at bay. Unread books collect my thought depriving particles.
Flat 12. House 20. Where I sleep. Flat of hell, halls are plenty. Where I weap. So sleep tonight in the uncomforting sheets as they absorb you a little more.
Winter Poems
Wall Of Truth
The Begrudging wall of truth fell hard on me
With leaf-less branches and a single rain.
Clouds opened up to show me the sky,
Followed by a glazy sunshine sane.
So to the gates 'll run
I'll see you in my stride,
Mixing up the fabric of my life
For nothing more than self-fabricated pride.
RUN
Less dwell on why you ran
and more on your arrival
Where your feet and palms
met the sand,
and you surprised,
by the survival.
​
​
In all these graces of doors
You could see
You'll hear a different
Heart-beat
Learn to learn as
Wisdom always prevails over
internal defeat
Roller Coaster
I tend to mention gleaming, yet I've never felt it.
Even with these roller coaster of emotions driving me,
They've never dealt it.
​
Why always the dark?
Why is it always tears?
Why never show me love?
But only all the fears.
​
As I continue on my helter skelter ride,
I'll bring along the tissues.
Because with all this sadness in my eyes,
The water only leads to misuse.
Forever
In time, we all begin to die.
Between our sunrise and night sky,
Is what we call life.
​
And what is life?
​
To live is to learn,
And to learn is to grow.
​
And to grow is to heal beyond your previous endeavours
​
But my current state is neither.
Like a dried out flower petal,
My life is at a stop.
​
Between the boy I used to be and the man I want.
​
Forever in between
Left in the search
Now shall I dare to grow?
Or forever see the roof of dirt.
Migrate
Like a branch getting swayed in a hurricane,
My direction is yet unknown.
​
Though my leafs are sprouting strong,
I am yet fully spiritually grown.
​
My roots are damaged with what they
grew upon, so on a tilt I shall stand,
​
Away with the wind, but not flowing
Uncentered, a lost fog
Is this truly the arc of man?
​
So off I blow, on this same thorn again
Uneasy with the natural breeze.
​
As I leave my mind once again
I finally realised, it's my mind losing me.
(End of "Winter Poems" collection)
Full Moon
Cold Moon, Full Moon, Won't you come?
A bright noon, I'll see not soon, as I've lost all my fun.
​
Wisphers torment my inner kind,
Shaking the core within,
But within these wisphers a rumble loud
but only ever heard paper thin.
​
The walls don't cave to such bitter ting's
Built by the damaged and stagnant
Left to freeze my conditioning
Leaving me feeling breathless and abandoned.
​
To them I place blame,
But the burden relieved I found me not.
Pity the days that remain the same and the rowls we all forgot.
​
So is a goodbye in order?
Or dare you laugh once again?
Such a waste of me trying,
because you'll always remain the same.
​
A penultimate haze
A penultimate haze
I found myself dazed
Unsteady but yet I knew
Of it all before you broke the news.
Unsteady, a loss, my stomach ready to spew
I once again found myself dazed and finally acknowledged that this is truly the end.
The boys we knew
Grew into us men
But you unfortunately stopped growing at one point
Whilst I sprouted leaving you alone in the mud.
I saw the signs,
Your hands on her thighs
In the simmit of my eyes
And yet I refused to see it.
My once dear friend
Forever lost again
I forever hope you can mend
Your broken mind and blinded heart.
A goodbye is coming
I shall see you there
Our last hooray
Goodbye my lovely beautiful friend
x
Nothing
I'm still feeling like an abstract being
A star-light alignment
I’m never seeing
What’s this life to bring?
Nothing but suffering
I’m really trying to be optimistic
But this seems to be all that I am seeing.
A crescent moon
With no planets with it
A space shuttle with no man in it
What’s actually vast if the universe is never thinning
And what's stability when on this rock we’re always spinning.
What’s a rhyme if there’s no rhyme with it
What’s a mind if there’s no mind picking
What’s a man if there just no man left within him
And what’s a plan if there is no plan beginning?
What's a fact when we’re always growing
What’s true judgment when no ones knowing
What’s going on and they always show it
And what’s a family if someone's always coming and going?
The answer to this,
Is what you’ll find in never trying,
and if you think you can’t be a little kinder to yourself and those around you,
Well then bruv ,
you’re just lying.
Losing myself by staying with you.
Purple steps
Concrete steps
I see the full moon
It sends me a sight that I only live for them.
I push myself in front of the train on the track
Simultaneously pulling myself back
But yet I can't say it’s reciprocated.
I go hungry so you can eat
I stay in, too make you not shout
I wear your favorite outfits of mine, whilst you wear whatever you like.
I stayed in bed when I had to leave
Just for you, tenderly
And it's in your mirror I see
No more of my identity.
But I couldn't find the courage to believe it, so I kept it down hoping not to retrieve it.
I buried it deep and along I went with “ my individuality will eventually return” ringing in my head.
I played this role for seasons at a time, with you making clear what is and isn’t my outline.
Wherever you went, I pursued
All in the name of love, loving you.
Then one day it all went wrong
You opened your soul and I saw it clearly conned me into thinking I was to blame for our stop..
But you were only ever in control suited you.
We once held hands like a piano and trumpet meet in a tune
But you’ve treated me like a drum for too long
That now our symphony is through.
WATERLOO
Smelling the world at my footstep
I feel the power of flavor.
A distant smell takes me back to school days,
The classical nostalgia which always leaves me reflecting on my journey thus far.
A once shy intimated boy who saw no other life for himself has shattered that self-constructed cocoon to realise there is more to life than these walls.
There is really more to life than my walls, huh..
Well maybe then there’s more to this life than I once thought
Maybe there’s more to my own ego-centric rhythm and institutional rules
And maybe if I just try to walk down another path for once and adjust my swindle attitudes then I’ll find that I am capable of some positive reform.
It’s Like I’ve always chosen stripes and it’s actually spots for me,
I’ve always been adamant my colour was green but maybe it’s pink for me.
I’ve always looked down and now it’s only stars I see,
And maybe it was never meant to stay christian but rather destined to be C. C.
From endless pitchers in cheam to water in waterloo, from rustlers burgers every other night to now having some healthy colorful gut healthy food.
From me being once so broken and shy you wouldn’t tell I was in a room to being center-stage delivering content pure and new.
I still hold dearly that past me,
But looking back will never pull you forward.
I’m trying to shake these final elements of my cocoon,
My last petals of comfort
This starts not with a dive in the deep end of the pool
But more-so by simply having just water in Waterloo.
Squirrel On A Fence
Oh little delicacy
Wandering free
How much I would pay
To be you in this exact heartbeat.
Walking steadily,
On wooden tracks
You search, you sniff
Then you pitta-patta back.
Oh wondrous beast
How does one earn to be
You in this tranquil moment.
I could sniff and search eloquently
Whilst in the mist of natures dream
Whilst you experience being me,
Simply,
I could hunt for acorns whilst you could attempt to try to make me financially free.
​
For a moment we could switch
Between living our frequencies pitch
We could explore each other's day to day issues
Filling one another's existential itch.
You would attempt to dissecting my emotional feels
That certainly undivine meal
The hurdles that this universe places
Plus how to make me successful too,
Whilst I search for nuts worrying about nothing else.
This will repeat until we meet again,
Till the unplanned reconvenes
But as I write this it dawns on deep
That maybe I was always just a Squirrel on a fence until I looked up and saw me.
Then through a rodent soul I prayed to be anything but silly ol’ squirrel me.
Oh big beast
What to be
You
Restricted, disciplined and he
From this wandering life I would flee
To feel love, hate, lust, jealously
Is merely a dream to us cavies.
So wish for me not,
Flourish in a chaotic bliss
As it’s finer to experience, harness all these unwanted feelings
Than to just be a little rodent
Wandering free.